|Brain fried yet?....|
Soon after we were off to meet the Choral Chameleon Singers for the first read-through sessions. Up first was conducting, which meant that Tegan and I were to conduct this professional group of singers for the first time. In total honesty, I was terrified. This is so far out of my comfort zone I have to admit, my anxiety levels are through the roof, and I found myself retreating into myself when it was my turn to conduct, which those of you that know me would probably have been really shocked to see! Perhaps it's the fact that these are professional singers who really know their stuff and I, as the amateur am expected to lead them.... perhaps it's realising that Tegan is so much more experienced and at ease with this than me that I feel not up to par..... or perhaps there's some other mental block that's going on - whatever it is, I know I need to take some time and figure it out, because the concert is on Friday and I really don't want to suck at this! All that said, the faculty we had on hand were superb, and were really able to get the needed teaching across: at one point I was surrounded by the choir singing at me, and having to run around and look them all directly in the eye, really listening to each individual voice, which was just the right amount of silly to sink in as an important lesson! The singers themselves are also truly lovely people, who you can tell are willing you to do well, and want to help you in anyway they can, always giving feedback with a compliment as well as a suggestion.
|In session with Choral Chameleon (or half of them at least!)|
|Yaaaaay! Singing Nerds! (Me with Justin Stoney,|
What really struck me today was just how much of a different person I was in each of these four activities - in Ear Training, I would be more confident if I was allowed to do it my way (haha!), but generally speaking I'm solidly comfortable - in conducting I could not be more uncomfortable right now, which is actually somewhat of a shock to me! It's not even that I think I can't do it, because I know I can - there's something else going on which needs working out.... With composing I'm more than happy to sit and listen to a choir sing my music and then talk about it - and well, having a singing lesson and nerding about the voice is basically my life, and it was clearly the happiest and most energetic I'd been all day! It just goes to show that every musician has their strengths, weaknesses and underlying anxieties, and, harkening back to Vince's masterclass on Sunday, it really is all about knowing yourself if you're going to succeed.
|A little bit of the good stuff at the end of a very busy day....|